A Day in the Life: Out of Control

Trusting in Divine Providence is probably one of the most difficult aspects of the spiritual life. Sometimes, I just want to make things happen according to my schedule and my plans! It is so hard to let go of the worry and "what-ifs" and trust the Lord to care for me and the people that I care about.

College, in many ways, has forced me to realize that I am *not* the one who is in control. I don't make the schedule, plan the lectures, formulate grading criteria, or pick due dates. I'm basically at the mercy of my professor and his or her teaching style. All I can do is put forth my best effort to meet their expectations. I have definitely had to face the reality that there are many unpleasant or difficult things that cannot be sidestepped. Sometimes, you have to look that messy, complex assignment in the eye and tackle it head-on, if you want to pass the class!

I've always been a stubborn person (just ask my Novice Mistress!) However, I hate conflict and tense situations, and given the opportunity to avoid either of those things, I will generally exit stage left. So far, the vow of obedience has prevented me from becoming a college dropout, tempting as it has been at times to throw in the towel (Er, veil?) and call it a wrap.

Truly, I can see the hand of God in that; it's something like when your mom tells you to eat your veggies because they're good for you. Most people don't seem to be overfond of spinach, but we've all had to eat it at one time or another. As they say: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It can be hard to balance everything and I often feel like I'm being pulled in twelve directions. However, I know that, when I'm finished, I will be a stronger and more determined person that I would have been without going to college.

The next couple of weeks are going to be pretty hectic. Midterms are coming up. In fact, I have my first midterm Exam in networking on Feb. 23rd, which also happens to be the night of my first Chorale concert. So, I will have about 30 minutes to get from NKU to the Cathedral Basilica of the Assumption in Covington, KY to make call time. (The concert is at 7pm, by the way, if you live in the area.) In general, I'm meeting myself coming and going! Tension is running high, but I know the Lord has everything in control and He's working out the details.

Now back to my homework!